Dating a Cop

Dating a cop is very difficult to say the least. Marrying a cop is another story. It takes very strong women to date a cop and honestly not everyone is cut out to do so. When a first met Mr. Adonis I remember saying “yep, this is the one”. I thought my search would end there right at that moment. I could not find one flaw except for his extremely dry lips…which was not a deal breaker. Mr. Adonis was tall, dark, and handsome. Oh! I did I mention he also was a part of the military? I couldn’t find anything wrong!!! I swear!!! I even tried looking for flaws because every person has them. “Maybe his pants are to short…damn they are the perfect length” “maybe he chews with his mouth open and talk when it’s full…damn he has excellent table manner” “maybe I’m on Pranked …Ashton Kutcher get you’re a** out here”. I’m telling you I could not find anything! A few days later I noticed when I tried scheduling dates he would be too busy or tired due to all the shift work. When I told my friends I was dating him the first thing they said was “oh oh, cops are the number one cheaters”. Eventually he was able to schedule in a little time for me. However, because I am a bitch who seeks attention all the time he did not see me enough. I felt like we were not even dating. All in all he was a great guy just not for me. My Advice – Get to know a person for who they are and not for what society had labeled them as. Stereotypes are born from closed minded people. Relationships also require time and patience. Make time gain patience.

Mr. Toupee

So one day I had met this guy online who had responded to my profile.  He looked a little bit older in his picture so I click on his profile to find out his age.  Now without giving out my age I will tell you he was about 2 decades older than me.  Unfortunately that did not stop me from meeting him.  Few text and online chats later it was time to meet Mr. Toupee.  I was told to meet Mr. Toupee at the train station but when I got there he made me walk to his condo all by myself as it was “only a min away”…DUMBASS!

When I was finally in front of his condo he yelled down from the balcony in his all white towel.  His towel was soooo tightly wrapped around his waist you could see his boner from a mile away.  When I walked into the front foyer I was greeted by a young man who made me sign in.  The place was covered in marble with fountains everywhere.  I knew Mr. Toupee had money but not this much.  When I got to his apartment I was greeted with a friendly hug still in his towel which made me uncomfortable.

Later that day he sat me at the piano and played classical music for me…for a whole hour!  There was little conversation as he was playing.  Then we decided to lie down and talk.  While we were talking I noticed that he still had his hat on.  I told him to take it off but he was very hesitant.  Then I felt his hair which felt like horse hair.  Was he wearing a weave? No it was a toupee! HAHAHA!  When he finally took of his hat there was a small ring of hair around the shiny bald spot of his head.

In the end I found out Mr. Toupee was about 3.5 decades older than me. -_-

My Advice – Tell your man to fully shave his head when he is balding.  Toupees are NOT sexy. 

“My stories are true. My dates are bizarre. It’s time for the real deal”


My very first date

I was in grade 10 and my best friend was in the same class as my crush who was in grade 9 at the time.  He was about two inches shorter than me and ten times more immature.  Every day I would do a locker pass by in hopes of seeing him and his shiny shaved peanut looking head.  Things were moving slowly and not getting anywhere.  The most we ever said to each other was “hi”.  So I decided to let my best friend tell him that I liked him and in the end things worked out.  When I did a locker pass he would start up a conversation with me.  I was as excited as a man in a hardware store; I was friggin ecstatic!!!

Eventually he asked me out to lunch.  Of course lunch was a half hour break and when the bell rang your little ass had better be in the class.

So for lunch we were going to my friend’s house as she lived 2min away from the school.  On our way there while walking through the school yard we ran into his little friends; for some reason he begun to run the opposite way just after he said “hold my wrap”.  Gosh!!! That wrap looked sooo good lettuce, tomato, and ham all wrapped in a whole wheat surrounding.  Anyhow…..The 3 of his buddies begun to chase him and eventually caught up to him, but before I knew it his shirt started to rip.  One of his friends had their sticky fingers on his shirt and so much force was involved my boyfriend’s shirt fully ripped in half.  His skinny, bony, pale, fragile teenage body was revealed to everyone who was in the field.  I was so embarrassed that I began to run too.  I began to run back into the school.  From that day on I avoided him but eventually had to tell him I was not interested anymore.  Not because of his skinny, bony, pale, fragile teenage body but because of his shiny shaved peanut looking head…. Joking! I did tell him things were not working out though.

My advice – Do give a scrawny guy or girl a chance.  Actually that applies for any figure really.  Do not write someone off because of the shape of their body.  You wouldn’t want to be judged based on that, would you?

“My stories are true. My dates are bizarre. It’s time for the real deal.”                                                                                            


Dominatrix I shall be NOT

So one day I met this guy online who had responded to my profile.  In his response he said “I am looking for a dominate lady.  Can you be that lady?”  In my head I thought “ok Sure why not…I like being bossy”, but little did I know I was in for a big surprise.  Few weeks past and it was time to meet him in person.  Now I had seen pics of him in advance so there were no surprises thank goodness.

He picked me up from the Union train station. On our way to his place he told me everything he would want me to take charge of; his work hours, house decisions, and everything that had to do with finance.  I would control his bank account too!!! Whoop there it is! Now I was fine with making the decisions but it doesn’t end here.

When we got to his place I walked into something you would only see in horror movies.  It was the perfect place for a murder.  His all in one open concept apartment was very dark.  All the windows were covered up with newspaper.  The only light in the apartment was coming from the kitchen.  The walls had been covered with posters and cut outs of naked women…ALL OF THE WALLS!
Later that night I knew it was over but what really made that decision final was when he text me in the middle of the night to ask me “What time should I brush my teeth?”

My advice – If a man says to you he is looking for someone “dominant”…RUN GIRL!!!

“My stories are true. My dates are bizarre. It’s time for the real deal.”